Nothing Good Happens After 12 am
by dominusalthus
Summary: Ichigo was looking at how miserable Rukia is... when she's drunk. He sighs heavily, "Damn, nothing good happens after 12 a.m.", and carries the drunk woman on his back. Slight fluff. Read and Review! :  Rated T oneshot.


**Nothing Good Happens 12 a.m.**

**By dominusalthus**

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><p><strong>Author's notes<strong>: I dunno how I came up with this, but I'm pretty sure it was because I needed some stress reliever. BTW, this is sort of Big Bang Theory and How I Met Your Mother which happened to be two of some of my favorite shows. Haha. :) Read and review!

**And oh, I do not own Bleach. :)**

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><p>Ichigo was staring at himself in front of the full-length mirror inside his bathroom with some sort of annoyance on his face. It's not like that he doesn't look good, but…<p>

"I can't believe I agreed into this." He sighed as he smoothened out the wrinkles on his blue Desigual shirt.

"Geez you idiot, what's taking you so long?" A blur appeared on the mirror behind him that appeared to be Rukia, her browse raised at the young man in front of her and appraising herself in the mirror at the same time. "You're such a sissy."

Ichigo turned to her with his arms crossed on his chest with a perplexed expression. "Shouldn't you knock first, midget?"

"The door's open, duh?"

"And what if I was happened to be naked inside and you came busting in?" He jeered. "You know what, I'm getting the idea that you were really taking chances on seeing me naked."

With that, Rukia grabbed the nearest object possible to her and threw it to his face, while hers turning into a deep shade of red.

"Ow what's with you—!"

"Shut up, you punk! Why would I want to see that, pervert!" Then she stormed out, leaving Ichigo rubbing the sore spot on his face where the unscathed bottle of shampoo landed.

"Dammit, that woman." He cursed under his breath and proceeded downstairs to get the whole thing over with.

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><p>You see, the reason why Ichigo and Rukia were dressing up because Keigo organized this <em>bar party to death <em>for them to have a _dose of life's real entertainment._ Let's say that they really didn't want to go, but the ever so genius Kurosaki Isshin have heard of this and invited his fellow doctors on a drinking party on their house and warned Ichigo that they'll be having the _talk_ with his human pals.

"…when did he get friends in the first place…" Ichigo thought to himself; a sit-down session with his dad and his human pals would be the most horrible thing he would ever experience, even more terrible than the battle with Aizen or the fullbringers. Now that he got his powers back, he could just change into his shinigami form, but there's just one problem: Rukia.

"Hey, bro, cheer up!" Keigo nudged his friend on his side to break him out of his nearly hibernating state. "Everybody's excited! Look at Inoue-san, Sado and Mizuiro! Even that Ishida or my darling Rukia-chan!" He pointed to a group of people slightly dancing amidst the crowd, (yep, that's Sado, Uryuu, and Inoue in there) and tilted his head towards Rukia who's having her own separate world across the table.

Ichigo grunted before saying "Shut up or I'll kick your shin 'til you turn into a girl." Yes, Ichigo's the ultimate kill-joy ever, staying inside a glass-bounded quiet zone in the pub, and he couldn't see why even Ishida and Inoue agreed to go out and _drink_. _DRINK_! And Rukia was happy as ever, because Keigo had given her—bribed her—with a rabbit plushy. Seriously. The idea of a drunken Rukia would be the most terrifying of all—he fears for all of the people here.

"Whoa, cool down bro!" Keigo pushed a shot glass of blue-colored liquid towards him. "Come on, we're nearly graduating high school! We gotta do this!"

"Oh shut it." He pushed it away. "I'm not touching that."

Keigo pushed it again towards him, but more careful now, afraid he might burst his friend's bubble of patience. "Come on! Man up, pleeeeease?"

The young man with the orange bush of a hair sighed. He haven't touched any of his father's sake at home, not even beer, and drinking his first ever vodka with Keigo seems like a pretty _nasty _idea.

"Nope. Don't let me force this thing down to your throat, you idiot."

Giving up, Keigo went out of the room and joined the other party animals outside. Ichigo was about to push the bubble gum flavored vodka when slender fingers grabbed shot glass from his hand. "Oi, Rukia!"

"What?" She glared at him and emptied the glass in a single gulp. "I think it's harmless, _kozo._"

"Rukia, did you just realize what you have just drank?" He grabbed the shot glass and a pitcher of liquor away from her. "That's vodka! You'll get drunk and throw up all over the place!"

Instead of throwing him anything and glaring at him, she replied with a crooked grin after licking her lips in a way that made Ichigo's stomach churn. "It tastes good. And you shouldn't get the impression that I _haven't_ drunk anything alcoholic before. Remember, I'm waaaay older than you."

"Well miss, technically I am two years older than you because you clearly have stopped aging when you're about 16, and I am in NO WAY cleaning up after you mess."

"You're just scared, that's all." She reached for the other pitcher of red vodka and poured another shot glass. "To your sissy-ness!" Rukia raised it and was about the chug the liquid down her throat when Ichigo's turn to interfere came this time.

"Dammit, I said stop drinking!"

"Fine." An impatient Rukia put the vodka shot down and continuously glared at him after slapping his grip away. "Fine then. I promise I won't ever drink again if you beat me this time."

"What? Are you saying that we should have a drinking contest?" He stared unbelievingly at her. Yep, she's small and 'waaaay older' than him, but he never imagined her challenging him into this kind of thing. "Are you seriously out of your mind?"

"No, of course I'm sober and very much sane, thank you." She crossed her arms across her chest and tapped her fingers on her skin. "However, a Kuchiki doesn't joke around. Prove to me that you're not a sissy. If you can drink on par with me, drink this whole pitcher of vodka without slipping out of your sanity. If you're more sober than I am after this, then I wouldn't drink, ever, ever, ever, again."

His eyes widened with a gasp. The sudden change in Rukia's character was really… _perplexing_. "Are you trying to get me drunk? On purpose?"

"No of course not! What is wrong with you!" Another thing came as a shock to Ichigo, as Rukia throws her rabbit plushy straight to his face.

Rukia NEVER throws CHAPPY away.

"Hey midget! Calm down will you? Are you already drunk—"

"What is the problem Ichigo? Man up! If you don't want to drink, then let me! Why are you so concerned about me anyway!"

"Because…!" He started, his temper cautiously nearing its overflow zone, but his mind went _clunk-clunk _on him without any fruitful result. "…er."

"See? You are just being a kill-joy." She rolled her eyes a couple of times. "Just get on with the bet, or just let me drink in peace."

"Arrrgh!" He lost his patience and grabbed the shot glass. "Damn, fine! Just promise me one thing, Kuchiki Rukia."

"What is it, dummy?"

He stared straight into her eyes, his voice overflowing with warning. "No vomits on my carpet, on my clothes, or anywhere, especially my closet. Is that clear?"

She raised her brows a bit. "Aye aye captain klutz."

And soooooo the drinking session began.

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><p>"Urgh." An orange-haired teen was walking home in a roughly zigzag pattern while rubbing his forehead. Fortunately, he was still sane, and surprisingly vodka didn't have adverse effects on him or his personality. "Those fools left without a trace. I'll beat the crap out of them tomorrow… that Keigo…"<p>

Luckily, he was better than the short woman who was having a hard time finding her balance even with fully capable two feet. "Goodness, I think it really hit me. Look Ichigo, I can barely stand! Haha!"

"Tsch. Such a pain… in the… ass…" he painstakingly inched his way back to Rukia, only to slap her on the forehead. "Hey midget…. wake up now…. you're not…funny."

"Ow what was that for?" She said it like any retort she would give after being hit by Ichigo, but this time, she was grinning and staring at him like a crazy person. "…you want to beat me so bad, huh?"

"Oh shut it! You're such… a moron! Look… look at you!" Even though he was really angry, he turned his back towards her and crouched down. Actually, half of him wants to leave Rukia like this out in the cold, but the other half of him just wants to go home, and worries about what Byakuya would do if he knew that Ichigo left Rukia in a rather _unpleasant _state. Just the thought of his cold glare creeps him out.

"Come… Climb up, before I change I mind and… leave you here."

To his surprise, Rukia immediately _jumped _on his back while chuckling and mumbling things that he decided to never find out. She pressed herself closer to her back and whispered to his ear. "Aww, I know you wouldn't leave me here… thanks berry…"

Her somehow different tone and vodka-infested breath gave Ichigo some weird feeling building up on his stomach. That, plus her… ah…. chest pressing on his back wasn't helping, either. _It's just the vodka, _he decided and started walking with the drunk woman wrapping her shoulders around his. "Shut up. Stop acting weird… It's freaking me out."

"Ow." Rukia gently raised a finger and traced Ichigo's roughly visible sideburns as she whispered yet again. "Grouchy… aren't you? Don't be such a kill-joy darling, good things happen after midnight…"

His heart was plummeting at Rukia's attitude; somehow, she's making him nervous, and making the whole point of letting Rukia drink—no, even touch—liquour is bad. He's obviously trying his hard to keep his knees from giving in.

"Goodness, for Seretei's sake nothing good happens after 12 a.m. except from some freaking hollows!" He shook her slightly, hoping that she'd snap out of her dazed state, and to make sure also that when hollows attack Rukia has a fighting chance, but nothing happened.

In fact, Rukia continued giggling and mumbling non-sense all the way to the Kurosaki household's door step. Ichigo was swaying left and right while scrambling for the keys inside his jacket's and jeans' pockets when he realized the worst thing of all:

"DARN! I FORGOT TO BRING THE DAMN KEY!" He said, his left hand doing a face palm. "Now we have to spend the whole fucking time outside."

"And whose fault is that?" Rukia finally said, giving Ichigo that she was back to normal, but then, she followed up with… "Why don't we climb up to your room? We can do lots of _things_ there," on a rather suggestive tone. Ichigo actually thought that she _purred _after saying it.

His ears were heating up from Rukia's strange behavior, but he found her suggestion useful. He looked around to see if there were other people around, and he saw no one so he started climbing up. Unfortunately, as this day was getting a bit out of hand, his windows were locked and there was someone else sleeping on _his _bed.

"Oh for kami's sake…" He blurted out, unbelievingly seeing a man (presumably one of his father's 'friends') spread out on his sheets. "I am. Going to kill. Goat-face for this."

Rukia chuckled gently. "Break in! I love break ins!"

"No, I won't destroy my window." He said exasperatedly. "We're going to …have to take the roof route. Hang on tight…"

On the roof, Ichigo removed his jacket, spread it out and set Rukia down on it. "Here you go midget fool. Stay here. I'll find a vacant room for you to rest in… I might take the couch. But it might take a little longer, I may decide to murder my father first." He started walking away, but to his surprise, Rukia grabbed his left arm. Why are there so many surprises this night?

"What?"

"Maybe it's… a little bit of a good idea to stay out here… It's kind of cool here… and I could see them…" She said on her normal, serious, but gentle voice. "Don't you think?"

He stared back on her and as about to say, "You're crazy. We'll get sick out here," but no, he didn't. He wasn't able to reject her idea, since his eyes got locked onto her eyes and his brain started defectively functioning again. "Urgh… fine…" His feet voluntarily walked towards the small trapdoor leading inside the house. "I'll get some blankets…"

When he got back, Rukia was sitting down and looking up, her coat spread out beside her. "Oi." He received a warm smile she rarely gives after receiving the blanket.

"Oi." She told him while she was spreading out the blanket. "…this is fun…"

"Yeah, right…" He shook his head. How did this day turned out to be this crazy? "But you're right… it's sort of comfortable here." He sat down on his own blanket and shot a glance towards her direction.

_Rukia…such an idiot… _he thought. His eyes trailed down from her eyes, to her shorter hair, down to what she was wearing. It was only actually up to this point that he noticed what she was wearing beneath the coat.

It was a blue dress that had its top buttons partly opened, revealing some of Rukia's skin beyond her collarbone, and creamy neck that was hidden before in her longer hair. Its lower hem reached the knees, but this time, it was carelessly pulled up to reveal more of her legs. A lump formed on his throat.

"This must be the beer—vodka goggles." He said to himself, but still not taking away his eyes from Rukia.

"Hey…" she said to him, slightly inching closer and leaning her head on his right shoulder. "…I'm happy, you idiot."

"Eherm." He cleared his throat to point out that she was dangerously near him, but she didn't budge. "Rukia… you…"

"Shut up… I'm having a monologue here." She gently tugged on his sleeve. "I feel… liberated… My brother's finally letting me do things I cannot do before… I am a seated officer… I would soon achieve bankai… _I have shorter hair…_" She laughed at her last statement.

"Yep, so you're free enough to get drunk and harass me like this…" He aimed it to sound annoyed, but his own voice betrayed him and he chuckled a bit on the end.

"Yep, that's right…" She snuggled closer. "You're warm… I'm happy… haha… It doesn't make sense…"

Ichigo was starting to feel at ease, and _warm_ with Rukia snuggled so close to him. It's not like that he haven't hugged or touched Rukia before, but it was on purely emergency or life-and-death context. But this… it was different. It was nice to have her close without worries… _given Byakuya wouldn't_ _see us here, _he thought_._

"So why… did you have to drink? I'm pretty sure you haven't tasted liquor before, you idiot…"

"Because… I'm free… I can do what I want now… but…" she looked up directly to his eyes, "…I can't erase all of the failures I had in the past."

He was about to become lost in her eyes. Then she started crying.

"Hey Rukia! Stop…" He wasn't really expert at this stuff, but it's quite strange to him to see Rukia this vulnerable, so open… Their bond was so close that they could reach each other like a book, but both of them share this _do-not-cause-inconvenience-to-others-by-telling-them-your-feelings _thing going on. His hands gently wrapped around her to her right shoulder, and tapped it awkwardly.

"…stop crying you midget… I thought you were happy…"

"But… I can't erase that Kaien-dono died… I inconvenienced Nii-sama… My sister died… I took your normal life away from you…" She told him between sobs, her face buried in her hands. "…I am a horrible friend…"

"Shut up, will you? You're just drunk, so you don't make any sense. That's it. You're never touching liquor again. I won the bet."

"…See? I am a horrible woman… You always treat me like that… Like I'm… a boy! But you treat other women gently! You respect them like princesses… like hime—like _Orihime_!"

He was quite taken aback when she brought up a thing like this. Yes, he pretends he's dense, but he is fully aware that Orihime likes him so much, and he is also fully aware that he doesn't have any feeling to reciprocate hers except friendship.

"Goodness… you sound jealous."

"Who would not be!" She grabbed him by his collar and shook him. "I am a Kuchiki! I am a noble! I should be treated with respect!"

"Whoa—"

"Most of all, I am a woman! A woman, Ichigo!" She continued cryingwith her face buried on his chest.

He stared at her in a different way now, it's like the impression when people first saw the _dark side of the moon. _ "Rukia… you moron… Why do you think I don't respect you?"

She continued sobbing. "You always call me moron… midget… do violent things to me…"

"Where did you get that?" He laughed, his left hand slapping his forehead while the other touched Rukia's back gently. "You… changed my life. You always come in at an expected time and bitch me around… You don't know how much impact you have on me…"

She finally looked up, tears trailing on her cheeks. "…you know… If… If…" She paused and bit her lip.

"If?" He met her eyes, trying to read what's running on her mind. Maybe this is why he likes having Rukia around. Although she bosses her around, she isn't whiny or clingy or forces him to say what he thinks because she somehow connects to him. Or maybe… it's a much deeper reason than what he thought it was…

"If we were born in the same time… Or if I was alive… Or I was human… I might… no… I could love you…" Rukia's voice almost turning into a whisper by the end. Her arms slowly went up to wrap around his neck, bringing them almost face to face while she sat on his lap.

_No. _He repeated many times to himself, struggling with his mind. _No I can't. This is Rukia and I don't want to ruin…things… between us… This must be the vodka… _

But his body was betraying him, his heart was, too. "Rukia… Why do you worry about that? Why don't we…. try?" He said, his face slowly nearing hers that she could see how flawless her face is. "I… I think I love you…"

Aaaand the words were out.

Ichigo wrapped his arms around Rukia's waist, they're bodies crushed against each other, his lips slowly familiarizing with Rukia's, her scent, her breath… They were all over each other like there was no tomorrow, their lips smashing all the boundaries there is across them…

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><p>"!"<p>

The said person automatically jumped out of his bed when he heard the voice. It was sort of like he went under classical conditioning, and hearing the voice sends signals to him like "get off of bed or you'll be killed" thing.

Ichigo landed on the floor butt first with a thud, and his vision suddenly started spinning. "Ouch!"

Kurosaki Isshin, already on his doctor suit, stood over his son. "That is, son, the effects of drinking out all night. Also known as hang-over."

"Shut up." He grunted, and was about to get up when a thought hit him like a hammer on the face. "…How did I…? I was…?" He checked on his memory and dug up things, which he fully remember, even the _last thing _that happened that made him turn to a deep shade of crimson.

Was it possible that he, Kurosaki Ichigo, was dreaming a perverted dream last night about… _Rukia_?

"Damn." He shook his head, slightly disgusted with himself.

"Oohhhh!" Isshin pulled him up with his pajama collar and shook him violently. "You aren't dreaming last night! You made daddy proud!"

"What? You?" He almost went nuts when he realized what his father was saying. "So it wasn't a dream? How then did I end up here? And where's…? Don't tell me you… YOU!"

Isshin jumped out of harm's way when Ichigo started kicking him like a madman. "You were watching!"

"Of course not!" He jumped and landed above his son's desk. "Thank me because I saved you from the awkward things that might happen if you two woke up beside each other!"

At that point, Ichigo paused and caught his breath to give his father a time to explain. "So what did you do old man? I shall kill you if you did some nasty things!"

"No no no!" He held up his hands like he was being held as a hostage. "I brought the two of you down here! My third daughter's on the twin's room!"

"Fine." He relaxed a bit, but there are few more things that still bug him. "…eherm… so… what did you find out…? I mean… am I… _naked… _or something?"

His father tried his best not to laugh, "No, sadly, you didn't take it all the way. Still complete clothes." A slight off-pitched squeak came out of his statement from his efforts.

A sign of relief washed all over him. He didn't violate Rukia after all. _Still intact, _he thought foolishly. "How come I have new clothes?"

"I cleaned you up and changed your clothes, dummy. What kind of father do you think I am?"

"And… what about Rukia…?" He raised a brow, he has a gut feel that there's no possibility of Isshin doing fatherly things without some naughty side stories…

"Er…" Isshin started walking towards the door before he unleashes the dragon. "Son, I am a doctor so… I'm used to seeing women naked… aaaaaand… I did the same—AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

An agonized cry resounded in the neighborhood—Kurosaki Isshin wasn't able to escape the fury of his son that was Ichigo.

Rukia came in as a limping Isshin walked away.

"Ichigo?" She found Ichigo staring at her with wide eyes and a blush. "Do you have any idea how we got home?"

"Er…" He turned his back towards her and pretended cleaning up his messy bed. "Uhrm, idiot midget. You were so drunk so I have to carry you on my back all the way to my sister's room."

"…oh…" She said looking at her feet. "…Who changed my clothes?"

"Uhm… about that… ah… Yuzu. Yuzu was the one who…" He made a mental note of convincing his sister to lie for him later.

"Oh ok… Is that all that happened last night?"

_So she doesn't remember a thing? _Ichigo looked back at her unwillingly. "Y-yes."

"Oh." She said, and started walking away. "I must have been really drunk then… and… I figured I made a bet with you… so…"

"B-bet? What bet?..." He faked a laugh. "You're really drunk then, aren't you?"

"…ok." She said, clearly having a difficult time coping with hang-overs. However, as she turned away and closed the door, Ichigo saw a thing he wasn't supposed to see if Rukia didn't remember a thing.

She was blushing.

_This changes things then… I might have to tell her later… _Ichigo fell back on his bed and covered his head with his pillow, concealing a wide smile that was forming on his face. "Rukia…"

Meanwhile inside the Kuchiki Mansion, within the confines of Seretei…

"You may go now." Kuchiki Byakuya said in his coldest tone that he could ever muster to his servant. His sheer murderous aura was almost enough to kill the trembling man if he wasn't sent away immediately.

On his hands were pictures of Rukia and Ichigo brought to him by the surveillance cameras around Karakura Town, courtesy of Squad 12. Doing _things_ that he wasn't able to do before he was even married,on the roof—it puzzles him so much.

One, _How_ on Earth did they end up in that position?

Two, _why_ were they doing that _thing _in that position?

And Lastly, WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE DONE ON A FREAKING ROOF?

"Chire, Senbonzakura." His shikai turned the photos into dust. _Ah,there's one more _thing_ I need to turn to dust. _

Bearing his seal,he proceeded to the Senkaimon. _I shouldn't have left her. Oh Hisana, look at your stubborn sister... I swear, nothing good happens 12 a.m._

Let's just hope he doesn't find Rukia first, or there would be two Kuchikis trailing Ichigo to murder him.

_Or would it be?_

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><p>Yey! Haha, I'm sorry if it was too mushy or rushed. I just wanted to write stuff that's all. :) Read and review! :) I'm planning to release a fic on what happened to the rest of them after that night, or maybe create a fic with Byakuya staying in the Kurosaki household, and Yuzu falls for him right away. Haha. :)<p>

-dominusalthus


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